Updates

Scrabble News:

I am not as good online as I am in real life. Considering you are reading my blog, think about that really. No seriously. In real life I am a scrabble demon. Children whimper when they hear the hallowed name of the scrabble champion. Mothers, lock up your dictionaries. Dictionaries, the word ‘mother’ doesn’t get very many points. The Scrabulator is in town and you better beware. And yet online, I am a sad sad shadow of my former glory. I’m not even Rocky VI coming out of retirement. I am the Mark Darcy of dirty street fighting, the Meryl Streep of Screamo music and the Marilyn Manson of Christians (in case none of that made any sense to you, I am a far cry from the real thing). In a game today, I actually made the word ‘HOG’. And not on any scores. Sniff. And then, I stooped to making the stupidest word ever (though fairly high-scoring) of ‘QI’, which belongs only in shows hosted by Stephen Fry. Sigh.

Cat News:

Cats are stupid. Not my cat, of course. My cat is a stealth cat extraordinaire with the life span of a vampire, the brains of Mufasa, the sleek sexiness of ….. Eva Longoria and the cuteness factor of Claudia Schiffer in hiking boots. In short, my cat is freaking awesome.

Other people’s cats, like other people’s children, are stupid. I had to sit and listen to a story about an English Blue Short Hair cat for which you sit on a waiting list for 6 months, and even after you have been selected, you have a play date with a kitten so the owner can assess whether or not you are suitable. They (the pretentious, self-loving, sexually-unsatisfied owners) prescribe the food, the activities and probably even check your garbage (do we even call it that in South Africa? I only know that line from American adoption movies). While everyone else nodded sagely at the narrative, I sat in mouth-open, slack-jawed silence. Not as sexy as you think, but I was hoping to convey something a little more robust. It’s not a baby, it is a cat. A rather fat, insolent looking one at that. Luckily I caught the eye of a sympathizer who was quietly categorising the levels of hierarchy “Humans….babies….plants…..geckos….lazy Sundays….pets….cats who require more attention than me”. I fell in love on sight.