Men and women are such different creatures. A woman will complain about wearing uncomfortable shoes (even though they are GORGEOUS) while a man stares at her incredulously. No man would ever buy a pair of uncomfortable shoes. Ever.
Because there appears to be a cosmic gap between what we say and what we mean, perhaps this little guide should be pasted in a convenient place for every guy. That way, while having a conversation, he can refer to the key to be more in touch with what is actually going on. Captain Subtext and Second-in-Command Sergeant Insinuation can be troublesome opponents, but here are a few weapons to help you in battle:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. It's fine = Oh HELL, no!
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. It's fine = Oh HELL, no!
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