Things I like about me

1.       I eat meat. Because it is awesome. Your carbon footprint may be smaller, but so is your brain. Take that, herbivores (in T-rex accent).

2.       I drink wine. Wine makes your heart strong, your brain pretty and your liver want to be a donor. I did studies.

3.       I struggle to exercise. Don’t get me wrong, I do it and I like it once its done. But I struggle to get motivated because I am human and inherently lazy.

4.       I tell racist jokes. Shut up, so do you. Even if you only do once you’ve checked over your shoulder.

5.       I think I’m better than most other people. ‘Nuff said.

6.       I read trashy Mills ‘n Boon novels. Its awesome reading about people who are stupider than you in order to justify No. 5. Plus, steamy stuff is fun to read.

7.       I am happy when my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend is fatter/dumber/uglier than me. Because I win. At everything.

8.       I am occasionally jealous of my friends. They are fabulous, awesome people (which is why I choose to have them surround me) but sometimes its hard not to want to be what they are.

9.       I lie about my weight. I am not even going to justify the stupidity of that one.

10.   I love my boyfriend and I want to post hundreds of facebook status updates about how amazing and sexy and special he is, and I love that people are jealous of the kind of relationship we have.

And for all of these things, I am truly thankful, for they are what have made me a real person.