(I’m well aware of the irony that this post presents, considering my previous one. What can I say? Take it in your stride, I’m still figuring it all out…)
I may have mentioned the Georgette Heyer phase I’m currently going through (John Grisham, you still have my heart and when someone decides to buy me your new book, our love will be requited). I’ll admit it now, her novels lack a little intrigue and are as obvious as a new Jennifer Aniston movie’s plot, but when compared to the other crap that lines so many of our shelves, she’s a winning author. The English is beautiful and the way in which the characters interact is charming. Blah blah, ja I hate myself a little too now. Fact is, if I have to read some average novel when I want to relax, I’d prefer one with proper grammar.
In any case, I was visiting the area in which my prospective mother-in-law resides and decided that the only proper thing to do would be to pay an obligatory social call this morning and pay my respects (present my acquaintance? Give my address?). 100 years ago this would have been the correct thing to do, but these days I feel a little old-fashioned.
Really, if you had a suitor courting you, you would have to impress him mother-in-law or fear that the marriage may be banned. Today, I’m worried about the censure of my peers (and his sister) for being a brown-noser. Sigh, how things have moved on.
I have decided, as part of my growing up phase, that I no longer care what people think (famous last words). Watching the centuries old tradition of women being hassled by their mothers-in-law about, well, everything, I’d like to do everything in my power to make sure that our relationship is a good one.
Plus, I’m hardly likely to say no to earl grey tea and a massive slice of lemon meringue. Shallow much?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Peer Pressure
A friend recently wrote that he “never knew how to withstand peer pressure until all of his friends started to get engaged”. Besides the fact that he is an old fossil and should consider re-stating that fact, Old Man Time has something of a point.
100 years ago, girls of my age were married with 3 kids (the lucky ones whose husband’s visited their bedchambers). Hell, 27 years ago, my mother at my age was married with 2 kids. It just goes to show. But today, getting married at 23 makes you strange. Unless there is some kind of ‘accident’ (you tripped, fell, and got me pregnant), people don’t tend to push into marriage quickly. Obviously this has to do with differing social expectations and a change in the environment in which we live, but at the same time there is a sense that moral values are falling more in line with what they used to be.
The 70’s and 80’s were a time of sexual revolution and female liberation, and with that came a booming lack of moral stringency. You came, you saw, you saw, you came etc. Birth control and easy ways to 'take care of accidents' made a lot of problems from the previous generation just vanish. Then look what happened? Mothers all worked and marriages fell apart, and now 50% of kids grow up in a family torn apart with fighting and buying love.
But these days, as the threats of aids, venereal diseases, cancers and the decline of the family, the people of my generation seem to be looking for something a little different. Sure, we’re more free and easy in our choices than people of so many years ago, but the main thing is that most of my friends are not looking for Mr-Right-Now, but rather Mr-I’d-Like-To-One-Day-Settle-Down-With-You-Once-We-Know-We’re-Right. So marriages aren’t being delayed because we’re too busy sowing our wild oats, they are being delayed because we’re trying to find out who we are apart, and who we want to be together. Perhaps more conscious than 40 years ago of how destructive divorce is, my generation seem to want to be more sure when they get married.
I’m all for wanting to wait, and Old Man Time, I’m on to resisting that peer pressure with you.
100 years ago, girls of my age were married with 3 kids (the lucky ones whose husband’s visited their bedchambers). Hell, 27 years ago, my mother at my age was married with 2 kids. It just goes to show. But today, getting married at 23 makes you strange. Unless there is some kind of ‘accident’ (you tripped, fell, and got me pregnant), people don’t tend to push into marriage quickly. Obviously this has to do with differing social expectations and a change in the environment in which we live, but at the same time there is a sense that moral values are falling more in line with what they used to be.
The 70’s and 80’s were a time of sexual revolution and female liberation, and with that came a booming lack of moral stringency. You came, you saw, you saw, you came etc. Birth control and easy ways to 'take care of accidents' made a lot of problems from the previous generation just vanish. Then look what happened? Mothers all worked and marriages fell apart, and now 50% of kids grow up in a family torn apart with fighting and buying love.
But these days, as the threats of aids, venereal diseases, cancers and the decline of the family, the people of my generation seem to be looking for something a little different. Sure, we’re more free and easy in our choices than people of so many years ago, but the main thing is that most of my friends are not looking for Mr-Right-Now, but rather Mr-I’d-Like-To-One-Day-Settle-Down-With-You-Once-We-Know-We’re-Right. So marriages aren’t being delayed because we’re too busy sowing our wild oats, they are being delayed because we’re trying to find out who we are apart, and who we want to be together. Perhaps more conscious than 40 years ago of how destructive divorce is, my generation seem to want to be more sure when they get married.
I’m all for wanting to wait, and Old Man Time, I’m on to resisting that peer pressure with you.
Growing Up #2
Right, I think I am sufficiently recovered to re-call the events of Saturday. As part of Growing Up (see previous posts) I am also engaging in making Responsible Choices. Now when I say that word in my head it has a similar ring to Visiting the Dentist, Cutting Grandma’s Corns and Studying for Exams. You know you have to do it, and once you have you feel really proud of yourself, but in general it’s an annoying part of growing up and something you have to do in order to prove you are finally ready to join the Real World.
First of my Responsible Choices is to try and behave more like a lady. Or to be more accurate, try not to act like a giggling idiot whenever out in society. Important here is to give the impression that I have in fact am smart as hell, have got a fairly prestigious degree and will soon be suing the pants off people, rather than that I recently broke out of beauty school and am having a Girl’s Day Out.
Since the Stellenbosch Wine Fest this year appeared to be a) expensive b) unlikely to have us falling over our feet and c) badly attended by our friends, the mature decision was to sit this one out and not go. But then, as luck would have it (or temptation, whichever way you like to look at it) I won free tickets. Which apparently, according to how many competitions I enter, is less luck and more statistics.
I took the best friend along, which is the obvious, but definitely not responsible choice. Needless to say, there were no ladies in our quarter. We did however have a ‘whale’ of a time (ironic expression to use considering my feelings on whales) and made sure that the festival was indeed worth our while. So although I am a fan of this whole growing up and entering the real world, a realisation I also made is that you make more friends and have more fun when you’re not making Responsible Choices, so every now and then I will still be letting my hair down!
First of my Responsible Choices is to try and behave more like a lady. Or to be more accurate, try not to act like a giggling idiot whenever out in society. Important here is to give the impression that I have in fact am smart as hell, have got a fairly prestigious degree and will soon be suing the pants off people, rather than that I recently broke out of beauty school and am having a Girl’s Day Out.
Since the Stellenbosch Wine Fest this year appeared to be a) expensive b) unlikely to have us falling over our feet and c) badly attended by our friends, the mature decision was to sit this one out and not go. But then, as luck would have it (or temptation, whichever way you like to look at it) I won free tickets. Which apparently, according to how many competitions I enter, is less luck and more statistics.
I took the best friend along, which is the obvious, but definitely not responsible choice. Needless to say, there were no ladies in our quarter. We did however have a ‘whale’ of a time (ironic expression to use considering my feelings on whales) and made sure that the festival was indeed worth our while. So although I am a fan of this whole growing up and entering the real world, a realisation I also made is that you make more friends and have more fun when you’re not making Responsible Choices, so every now and then I will still be letting my hair down!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Whales
This is something of a rant, and mainly aimed at those locals who are so amazed by whales. Now I love game, and game-watching and I think that animals are incredible to watch and observe in their natural habitats.
But when I think that, I am referring to majestic lions stalking prey and herds of elephants being big and imposing. I am talking about meercats on the side of the road, leopards’ eyes glinting in the headlights, hippos lolling about in the mud to keep cool.
I am not referring to pieces of rock 50 miles out into the ocean.
Drive along the coastal routes of Cape Town and surrounds and you will often come across the sight of cars stopped, binoculars out and people excitingly watching the whales. The difference between whales and sandbanks, or rocks or in fact just a white horse is nearly impossible to spot. So ultimately, they are looking at the view (which I have no problem with, just don’t try to get me excited about the alleged ‘whale’).
Whale season, when the whales are leaping out of the water, mating mid-air and bouncing balls on their noses, well that is entertainment I can get behind. Watching whales on documentaries doing fascinating underwater noises and dives, I can support. Hell, I’ll even listen to a whale noises cd.
As long as I don’t have to observe them in their natural habitat, being rocks, I am ok.
But when I think that, I am referring to majestic lions stalking prey and herds of elephants being big and imposing. I am talking about meercats on the side of the road, leopards’ eyes glinting in the headlights, hippos lolling about in the mud to keep cool.
I am not referring to pieces of rock 50 miles out into the ocean.
Drive along the coastal routes of Cape Town and surrounds and you will often come across the sight of cars stopped, binoculars out and people excitingly watching the whales. The difference between whales and sandbanks, or rocks or in fact just a white horse is nearly impossible to spot. So ultimately, they are looking at the view (which I have no problem with, just don’t try to get me excited about the alleged ‘whale’).
Whale season, when the whales are leaping out of the water, mating mid-air and bouncing balls on their noses, well that is entertainment I can get behind. Watching whales on documentaries doing fascinating underwater noises and dives, I can support. Hell, I’ll even listen to a whale noises cd.
As long as I don’t have to observe them in their natural habitat, being rocks, I am ok.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Growing up #1
Yes, I think it’s finally happening. So the next few updates are going to be some small revelations I have made in the last year.
Today = Romance.
I think I know what it means. Finally. It’s not candlelight dinners, and spending lots of money or fancy picnics. Ok, that’s not entirely true. To be fair, I like those a lot. I love candles. And picnics. But the point is, romance finally means something real to me. Because when the boy goes to the shop to buy ingredients for breakfast muffins (blah. Not exciting) he comes home with pork steak and roast vegetables. And when I’m sad or have had a bad day, he knows that, and he just hugs me. Because he actually knows me better than I know myself, and is more realistic when it comes to me. And there are a million other things that he does, just because he loves me.
Granted, he's no romeo and he doesn't recite sonnets and occasionally I think his emotional growth might have been stunted somewhere along the way, but then I realise that his way of loving me is the only way I want to be loved. His warmth, his caring, his understanding all go to the heart of what makes me me. And what makes us us.
All that other crap that we spend our whole lives watching movies about and reading novels about and dreaming about, it’s not real. What is real is that one person you can crawl up to next to, wearing your fat pants and ‘comfy’ clothes, and who still nuzzles sweet nothings in your ear and still thinks you’re beautiful.
I am the luckiest girl alive, and I don’t care who knows it. Thank you, to my boy, for making romance mean something real to me.
Today = Romance.
I think I know what it means. Finally. It’s not candlelight dinners, and spending lots of money or fancy picnics. Ok, that’s not entirely true. To be fair, I like those a lot. I love candles. And picnics. But the point is, romance finally means something real to me. Because when the boy goes to the shop to buy ingredients for breakfast muffins (blah. Not exciting) he comes home with pork steak and roast vegetables. And when I’m sad or have had a bad day, he knows that, and he just hugs me. Because he actually knows me better than I know myself, and is more realistic when it comes to me. And there are a million other things that he does, just because he loves me.
Granted, he's no romeo and he doesn't recite sonnets and occasionally I think his emotional growth might have been stunted somewhere along the way, but then I realise that his way of loving me is the only way I want to be loved. His warmth, his caring, his understanding all go to the heart of what makes me me. And what makes us us.
All that other crap that we spend our whole lives watching movies about and reading novels about and dreaming about, it’s not real. What is real is that one person you can crawl up to next to, wearing your fat pants and ‘comfy’ clothes, and who still nuzzles sweet nothings in your ear and still thinks you’re beautiful.
I am the luckiest girl alive, and I don’t care who knows it. Thank you, to my boy, for making romance mean something real to me.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Twilight (jip, I'm going there)
New moon, eclipse....words that used to be associated with nerdy science kids on astronomy excursions, but which now dominate the lingo of 13 year old girls (ok, ok and some of the rest of us to)’s vocabulary. By now you should also have picked: Team Jacob or Team Edward (psssh….like there is any competition. Taylor Laudner may have a face like a brick door, but he’s sassy and has arms like a rugby player). Oh no…I’m one of them, aren’t I?
There is a fabulous quote about the movie, namely that it is the ‘classic tale of a teenage girl’s choice between bestiality and necrophilia’. Harsh, but brings a snigger to the chin. In any case, I joined a steaming herd of social animals last night at the movie house to be a part of watching the final of the trilogy (the books formed a trilogy until she brought out a fourth book, which is referred to as the ‘sequel’ to the saga. Um…what?)
I’ve watched both of the first two, and since I am on holiday of late and have re-watched Ever After (yes, I am that bored), I decided that these two hours aren’t EXACTLY going to waste. I managed to drag the boy too (!) I’m not here to give a movie review, you’re either going to watch it or you aren’t, and no amount of pretentious ‘well-the-cinematography-is-good’ crap is going to change your mind.
I’m here for a
spoiler-alert
shocker – after all this debate and uncertainty and indecision, she decides to become a vampire! Is this writer delusional? Surely all vampire movies are supposed to end with the hero(ine) deciding that no matter how glamorous and delightful and adventurous and exciting the life of a vampire may be, ultimately they are the Cold Ones, the Undead, the Frozen, the whatever, and then choose life?
Those are the RULES!
Everyone knows that. Tuck Everlasting, Interview with a Vampire, Blade…all of these movies showed us that our humanity and our mortality are some of the most precious gifts we have and the point is not to live happily ever after, but to live.
Someone should sue the pants off of her for not sticking to protocol.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Funny questions and answers
It's been a long week, and actually I am now on holiday. In the interests of sanity and not overloading my brain (read: supreme laziness), I thought I would share these with you. They are tourism "Q n A" about South Africa:
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden
A: Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometres take lots of water…
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes…
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey’s Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not…oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don ‘t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can di spense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden
A: Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometres take lots of water…
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes…
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey’s Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not…oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don ‘t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can di spense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.
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